Flooded!!!

I'm not dealing with an actually flood of water, it's more like a lot of job interviews; great opportunities! Now who would've thought...Things were going great before I resigned from my current job (just my full time position but still, I have payments to make!); then I hit a dry spell. I was almost freaking out. But now that I've actually sorted what I want, it's crazy, keeps on coming. Great opportunities, great companies, great job description...did I mention, great benefits AND real good salaries (I can even ask for more than I originally wanted, I'm hot on the market, lol)???! I'm thinking I should've left my job earlier.

So I think I chose the right career. I'm tired of customer service a little, I want to be in an office in a more professional work environment than what I'm used to. I'm not saying customer service is not professional but I'm used to stores and all of that. You're really friendly with the staff and at some point, it shows in your work that you haven't been giving your best. Of course not, you were too busy chatting with your coworkers!

I like what I do; customer service with some administrative work and now it's bringing me to all administrative, that was a necessary step. Happy to have stepped to the plate! :) I'm not really stressed out anymore; I was born for that s**t! Lol, absolutely not true but I'm handling it pretty well so far. It'll seem like I'm back in publicity mode but BUT, I gotta thank Apple for that iPhone! My life savor. I have no choice but to use the agenda (mind you I only realized after that the regular touch would've done the trick).

Also Hank is just adorable, we talked on the phone last night and of course me talking too much made him miss his curfew! Lol, kidding, he had to sleep early because he's working the night shift and going to school this morning. Did I say he was adorable? And totally the kind of boy I like (up to now)? Lol, he's not necessarily a man's man but he's definitely not a metro sexual which I was scared of. A brief definition for those who don't know, a metro sexual usually dressed pretty well, takes care of himself and his appearance etc.; the type of guy who'd wear make-up if you know what I mean...Also, very much in touch with his feminine side, so much, you'd think he's gay!

Celebrity Examples:
Zac Efron
Ryan Seacrest
Jake Gyllenhaal
Ryan Reynolds
Ashton Kutcher

Now I like the ubersexual, much more manly but still sensitive. At least you don't have to wonder if he's gay or see him as too feminine.

Celebrity Examples:
Bono (U2)
George Clooney
Ewan McGregor
Pierce Brosnan
Bill Clinton

Why was I talking about this again?? LOL, back to my hectic day...

Eventful Night

Oh wow! Now something had to give! Lol, Hank and I have been text messaging all day. Where did that come from? That party that never was. So I was all ready for Saturday with a hot red top and you know...cleavage...Nadine and Stephanie were coming out to party. And if you wonder it's the name of my two girls! Lol a running gag with me and one of my girls, Kim.

Explanation is simple. We went to a party and a guy was addressing my boobs the whole night so Kim said I should've told him pointing at each of my boobs

"Hi, this is Nadine, this is Stephanie and Caroline is up here."

Lol, that was a funny party...Well back to the one of interest. It was canceled so I was very disappointed and so was Kelly. She decided we should just chill at her place. Yolanda decided she wouldn't come, she didn't feel like it. I figured since I'd planned on getting drunk I might as well go to her place and do it. Lol, it'd been a while and I'd already asked Pamela to join us for a party and felt bad for ruining her night.

We were also going to be stuck apparently with Tracey...wow, there's a lot to be said about Tracey...she's a skank. I don't very much like hanging out with her but I do every once in a while, small dosage is always okay. But she didn't wanna just chill at Kelly she wanted to see "people". With Tracey that means boys and I am not about to let her near Hank...Hell no!

Anyhow, Pamela, Kelly and I are drinking and Lee had said we could go to his place a little later, Hank and the other boys would be there so when he finally called we packed up the alcohol and headed to his place. Pamela split because she felt she was getting sick so it was just the two of us as always.

Now that was an eventful night. I drank talked to Hank quite a bit, we watched youtube videos, we had a blast. And lol, I was drunk. Been worst than that but at the end of the night when Hank came to see me as I was leaving to ask for my number 'cause he didn't have his facebook message anymore, I couldn't get the order right.

So he got my number and Kelly told me how much he was asking about me and how she told him to make a move. So it was done, he called pretty much right after we left, I was at the bank getting money for a cab to bring us back to Kelly's place. I don't drink and drive! Lol

Anyways, we were also headed to see my best friend. I'd normally say guy best friend but I no longer have a girl best friend. Pamela is more like a sister to me and Kelly could never be my best friend. Well, lol, my best friend Thomas, works 2 days night shift and 2 days day shift right downtown. We stayed for about 1h or 2 talking about high school, Tracey (we went to high school together) and a bunch of other things. Was great to see him.

And it was all back to Kelly's to spend the night, I had to take Tracey out to diner for her bday that was the past week and Kelly was starting to feel down again because of her boyfriend who she thought had a wife...Kelly is special, lol, she didn't mind the wife so much that the fact that he didn't tell her and she was developing feelings for him. If you must know he doesn't have a wife but does have a girl he wants to spend his life with and it ain't her. So she settle for an open relationship. Lol, knowing her, she'll take full advantage of that freedom soon enough. She's had some yummy boys after her...

Oh, back to Hank so he sent me texts all day Sunday, all day today and I hope it lasts! ;) Haven't talked on the phone yet though. But I like the "Hey beautiful" in the morning. One little thing, lol, when he asked if I knew his age and I replied that I wasn't sure 22-23, well he answered: "I'll be 23 in December but to me age is just a number". Oh gee, even younger than I thought...If I'd met him a couple of years ago he would've been illegal!!! LOL

Ok, well I'll stop freaking out about this. Job hunting is going GREAT!!! I have 2 interviews at great companies tomorrow, especially the second one. What a dream job. The company always makes it to the top 100 of the best employers...Hope all goes well.

Unventful Night

Great! Now that was boring. Well half boring. Still job hunting at least I don't have to worry about money. I hope, I have been spending a lot. Anyhow, I saw Hank again. Turns out either name is good. That's it, LOL, his cousin Lee, who apparently thought I was pretty cute too seemed much more sweet and/or interested than him. But let me put some order in all this, you must be lost.

So I mentioned a concert not so long ago, it was Wednesday. Turns out it's not exactly his concert it's more like Lee's and some of his friends he says he doesn't sing anymore. So let me tell you about the night play by play. I had this hot little top I wanted to wear but it turned out to be too much considering what the girls were wearing so I went for something a little more tamed. We arrived at the club (late thanks to me) and he and his friends were outside drinking.

We all say hi, he tells me I look beautiful in purple, I thank him, of course, lol. Then we all go in because the set is about to start. So, my girls were not seating with me but not far either. He was a little bit behind me but not so much in a spot where we could talk really even if we wanted to and if he'd move, he'd block the way. I didn't want to be too obvious and go sit next to him so I gave up.

Now there was this awful stroboscopic light that was just driving me nuts so I told the girls I'd change seat, Kelly followed me and Yolanda stayed with the boy she's cheating on her boyfriend with (she's a friend of Kelly mind you...lol, not mine). Anyways, I was hoping he'd come around since we weren't close to anyone but nope. Instead he was at the exact same spot and I was behind him now.

Not far enough(or maybe it's that the bar was pretty empty) but anyhow, I could see this white chick getting a little close and trying too hard. Now I don't mind white chick with black men, I've been with white men myself. Lol, this one particularly got on my nerves for 2 reasons, ok make that 3 but I'm barely admitting to the 3rd, I'd say it counted for maybe 5%...

Not only she wasn't good looking aka below average but what she chose to wear...yuck! She doesn't have a bad body and a tight dress like that she should've been able to pull it off. I know I've done it when I was a few pounds lighter like she was but please, don't do the horizontal large stripes...Please don't...Anyhow, there was that. Then her trying too hard to fit in acting like she really was into the music...I'm not saying she wasn't I'm just saying her way of showing it was whack and exaggerated. Plus she kept putting her arms around Hank's neck...mind you he didn't seem to care at all so she'd go back to her seat before going back every 10 min. or so...

Like I said, the 3rd one is what bothered me the less but the girls wanted me to go mark my territory. I am not an animal so I don't have a tendency to go piss around a man I'm into to make sure others know it's a no go. Come on...I'm too classy and I don't mind competition. Plus if he's into me, I'll get him one way or another...And that didn't take quite long...

The show is done and the boys go outside to smoke...Including Hank (yikes, that scored minus points... :( How could I forget???). Anyhow, I decide to leave my drink with Yolanda, I gotta see if I can take the opportunity to talk and get close. Especially ask that question I have in mind: "Are you the kind of boy that just asks for a girl's number and never calls? What's your deal?"

I never asked. Boy was I freezing, we'd left our jackets in the car which I said I'd go get but Kelly offered me her shawl while Hank was offering me his jacket saying a shawl wasn't good enough. Lol, Kelly seemed to be insisting I'd be fine with the shawl so I went for that. After maybe 10 min. I was freezing again, lol, the shawl wasn't enough so Hank gently put his jacket on my shoulders. Haha, the look the other girl gave me...Guess who won?...Lol

I gotta mentioned something funny. On the night I met Hank, we all went to grab something to eat, on the way back, since his cousin, Lee lives right by a club downtown well you see a lot going on. Anyhow, it's 3AM we pass right by this couple and the girl says she's cold so the guy hands her his jacket and the girl tells him he's a real gentleman. Kelly's view? Lol, she goes to me:

"You know what that means when a man gives you his jacket right?"

"No"

"Well, he wants to bend you over and f**k you from the back, that what it means! Boys don't do that nowadays!"

And she starts laughing while I almost choke (okay, I laughed too). Lol, she tells the boys (Hank and Lee) and they kind of agree...But lol we were laughing and Hank asked why and I said it was about something Kelly had said back then about a boy giving his coat to a girl and he didn't seem to remember...Hmmm...lol, good or bad?

Anyways we all ended back at Kelly's because they wanted to smoke weed, which I don't but I still like hanging out and that "girl" didn't come, she had already left...Lol, so it was cool but like I said, Lee seemed to be a lot more of a gentleman at that moment than Hank compliment me all the time. We watched part of Chris Rock "Kill the Messenger", that is just plain outrageous at times and I bet Kelly thought she should start watching herself with all this weight she's been loosing if she still wants to attract black men! LOL

Well...I think it was pretty uneventful, I didn't get to talk to Hank. The boys invited us to a party on Saturday though... :)

Crazy Flash

Whoa! It's late or early depending on your point of view. I do have to be awake to babysit at 10AM tomorrow and I keep getting terrible headaches. I was hoping I could make 60,000$ a year with 2 jobs and of course forget the boyfriend but that might not be possible. The night job I was interested in has hours that would give me a possibility for a second job but it's have to be 4 days as well. Anyhow. This very second I was going to bed. Right before I was in the bathroom. (And mind you maybe I didn't have to share that much with you but ultimatly it's in the bathroom I think the most about my life. Go figure.)

Back to the subject; my flash. So here I am in the bathroom right after I'm done reading Spellbound by Jane Green and I'm once again thinking of my future. Guess I'm obssessed with what my dreams are what they were etc. So I'm thinking well, I want an office job where I'll grow and eventually I'll start my own business. And that's when it hit me. My own business? Where the hell did that come from? Well that's what I've always wanted when I was younger. And I'll have my house, with kids even. Why not?

Just as I was telling myself I needed a great idea to start my business and maybe even go back to school and where the hell did that come from? I remembered seeing a fortune teller a couple of years back. She said a lot but among all she said, I remember her telling me I'd start my own business and that I'd meet the man of my life randomly through a friend. Now you get the whoa? I'm probably getting carried away but I did meet Robby randomly...through a friend. LOL, I remember saying she sucked because she said I'd never see or her from Dylan again and she was horribly wrong. For my past she was AMAZING though. If she was so good for the past maybe she's not so bad for the future. With my theory on time I can only believe in fortune telling. I had a tape...I oughta find it and listen to all she said. I know there was something about kids...twins...ughh! Lol

Once again..Whoa! LOL

Dreams...

Not that this is a lack of inspiration really but I'm gonna be "stealing" those drafts from my old blog "Hmmm...", finish them and post them here.  This one is from 2/26/2005

Dreams...

What are your dreams? Which mean the most to you? The ones when you're daydreaming wishing you were elsewhere? The ones you have when you're asleep at night? The ones you have about your future?

What do you dream about? What drives you? 'Cause this is what matters...A dream is nothing if you're not driven to make it a reality. I dream a lot, I wonder how much they're meaningful to me? I daydream I was a star sometimes, I don't remember most of the dreams I have when I wake up so I'll pass. And about my future...hmmm...there are sooo many. I wanna be a star (maybe), work for Pixar Studios, find the love of my life...

Hmmmm...am I really driven enough? I sometimes feel like I'm just standing here waiting for life to happen. Oh, and life is happening, it's moving forward while I stand still waiting...So what should I do? Change my dreams...It's just like letting go of someone or something you used to love. But if you're not driven, not inspired, if you can picture your life being fulfilled without it...what is it?  Did it ever really matter?

---------------------

Follow through 2008...

I had to make a section break on this because I have a very different perspective on things.  Or maybe not.  I guess my life was not going to be fulfilled if my dreams didn't come true but unfortunately after reading Radical Careering, I'm still wondering where any of that would've brought me.  Sure, it's great to be a star be on top, does that mean you're fulfilled?  When you've reached that destination isn't there still a possibility you realize you've missed something? 

Unbelievable. I wanted so many different things when I was younger. Haha, at 6 I said I'd get married and have kids by 10. When I grew up a little and became a feminist I could only deny it. So around age 8 I wanted to be a business woman with my own business. Honestly, it's just because I loved suits. Guess I'm still a little stuck in there since I'm looking for an administrative position. Around 10 I wanted to be a pro tennis player I also wanted to be a pro figure skater when I was about 7 or 8. When I turned 11, I decided I wanted to be a cop.

Crap, I had my whole life mapped in my head when I was about 14. I'd be a cop by 21 and have my daughter by 25, in-vitro if I had to. Now, I'm disillusioned by cops and didn't want kids 'til very recently. I'm still coping with the idea. I wanted to be a lawyer too. Wow, what a mess. It's never too late though. Dreams evolve, transform, make us who we are. But I'll say it again; a dream is worth nothing if you're not driven. You gotta want it.

I'm not even sure this is making any sense. I'd say I apologize in advance but this is the end so I do apologize and thank you for your patience.

Can I?

Alright, so it is passed midnight...But not so much...I was wondering if I exercised now if I could count it as exercising yesterday or if I lose a day and keep this as warming up week aka being lazy exercising only when I want to?

So I saw a really nice show tonight Nebbia by Cirque Eloize at TNM. I LOVE circus shows, there's another one I ought to see. La Vie by Les 7 doigts de la main. The 7 fingers are always a MUST!!! It's playing in Montreal at TOHU in english, one night only, November 19th...hopefully, I get good seats; I should by my tickets now... Well, see you there! I'm not gonna exercise, that's it. Getting ready for bed instead, I think...

Nope, I'll probably watch a movie... LOL

Coca Cola Shape???

I exercised yesterday, now I have to find the motivation to do it today as well. I gotta lose some weight, geez, I have sooo many sexy clothes I want to fit it again. Lol, I was checking out old pictures with one of my girls the other day and she wanted one of my hot dresses a lil' too much. It still fits but would fit a whole nicer if I weighted 20 to 30 pounds less like I used to.

A little bit of encouragement would be nice. Slim in 6 by beachbody.com is not so easy. But it's great. I'm too ashamed to post my before pictures for the moment so you'll see the before/after at the same time probably and that'd be in 6 weeks from now.

I gotta get Xenadrine and lots of motivation because if I don't do this now, I might never do it! Plus like I told myself, I'm still in my 20's so it's now or never because in my 30's it's gonna be harder and let's face it; I'm lazy.

P.S.: I feel like I'm selling a lot of products in here but no worries, lol, I am not getting a penny for all this advertising. I do it out of the goodness of my heart because I believe all of this works. Which slighly makes it more pathetic. I should ask for endorsement. LOL

Oh and if you want to take xenadrine, take my advice and stay away from the NRG formula. Nothing like the EFX worked wonders for me with a better diet or you'll crash. :)

Not Completely M.I.A.

Haha, I haven't been giving news about Robby even though I said I would. Or Hank however you want to call him. My friend kept investigating and told me he rarely has access to the net and still doesn't have his cell but he did get my number.

Alright so...F.Y.I.: It's not something I asked for or really cared to know because well, frankly I figured he knew how to reach me if he cared. Just hoping my friend didn't send a vibe like I was desperate.

She also told me he didn't want to give me his e-mail and chat on msn because he thinks it's not an interesting way of interacting with someone you care to get to know. He wants me to take him seriously.

Whoa! Lol, a little more and I would've said: I'm in LOVE!!! Lol, that was a prob I had with Kevin actually, too much msn. I have to say I didn't like his voice anyways, so he wasn't going to make it either way. Dylan is also a little too much into that whole msn. Crap...I was gonna mention another boy.

Geez, what is it with me and virtual relationships? Am I the only one with relationship that instead of evolving regress? Go from in person to the computer? I deserve more than this that's for sure. Back on the subject, more news, Hank asked his friend to ask my friend to let me know he wants me to come at his next concert on wednesday.

I kind of feel right back in high school but at the same time it's cool. He'll just have to figure out a better communication method and soon because this won't last. Plus I think I said it before but I need to get out more if I'm to meet someone.

Radical Careering

Am I in the middle of a crisis? Wouldn't even be a middle-age one, I'm only 26! So I'm reading this book by Sally Hogshead (I didn't make up her name!) Anyways, let's say, it's got me in a crazy spot right now and I'm not even done reading.

I just quit my full time job. Kept it part-time, left with tears in my eyes; I'd been working there four years. But it was a dead-end job and I have a lot of potential. Mind you with my level of education, I'm barely passed high school graduate all because I invested 16 000$ in a program I realized wasn't entirely fit for me. I LOVE music, love listening to it, love writing songs, love all the technical stuff that comes behind the scenes but it's not my calling. Not anymore. Was it ever?

Anyways, I'm looking for a job as an administrative assistant. Well, not really a job like I say...a career. Yes I know my path with most likely end up in law which used to be the plan but I'm not ready yet. Anyhow; I always thought I knew what I wanted or that I had a pretty rough idea. Turns out I don't really. Yes this is what I want right now, to be an administrative assistant and I'd be great at it. Also I need a job in the following two weeks or I'll be in deep s**t. That iPhone won't pay itself. Lol

Anyhow, why is the book making me freak out...

"Radical Truth #39
Write Your Mantra

You wake up. Roll over. As you come alive to your day ahead, what inspires you to get out of bed? Are you excited by the prospects ahead, or deadened by the drudgery of minutia on your to-do list? What kind of future are you living into? What is your purpose? The answer lies in your mantra statement.

What's a mantra statement you ask? Excellent question. You're well acquainted, of course, with a mission statement. Most mission statements use jargonic fluff to state watered-down shareholder goals on a PowerPoint slide. ("We put the Q in Quality!") A mission statement generally speaks purely to rational goals. A mantra statement, on the other hand, reveals the true, underlying purpose. A mission statement lives in your head; a mantra statement lives in both your head and soul.

Here's an old story.

Three bricklayers were working and someone asked, "What are you doing?" The first said, "I'm laying bricks." The second said, "I'm building a straight wall." But the third said, "I'm creating a cathedral for God."

Straight wall= Mission Statement

Cathedral to God= Mantra Statement

Think of your own life for a moment. What's your big picture intention? What are you doing with this one and only life of yours? For more information about mantra statements, go to www.mantra-statement.com"

This is from the book. Go buy it!!!

Anyways, back to me because it's what it's meant to be about. I'm not so excited to get out of bed! I have no mantra. Sure I have a mission statement but what for. What am I really aspiring to do and why...Well, I'm not aspiring to much, a nice house some money, a loving man (husband maybe...) I'd say that's my mission, my straight wall...What about my mantra...

And it hit me...Maybe I want kids after all, maybe I want that loving family that I was so sure I didn't care about. I want my career as a lawyer probably but I'm not sure but I think I may want that family after all.

I think this will shock of my friends, especially one who saw me displaying emotions recently and at work to top it off and now I'm stating I may actually want kids? What is happening to me???

Anyways get the book Radical Careering! I'd say read it aka get it at the public library but I think it's worth owning so I'll be going to the bookstore myself very soon.