You've Been A Bad Bad Girl...

So I'm turning into a terrible person. I've known I wanted to dump Kevin for how long? And yet I'm still around...Worst if you look at the title. No it doesn't involve anything very naughty really but still with me it almost is. I'm leading on the poor boy because I'm not sure he could handle it.

Although I secretly hope he takes it badly so that I can finally see him as a man. Yeah, I'm guilty of going for the typical Alpha Male. But you know what? I'm looking for someone in between. Lately I know Kevin's got sex in mind and I don't blame him, we've seen each other a couple of times. Sparks were flying...I did play the tease a little often...

Oh, I'm horrible. But I also want a boyfriend not just a booty call friend. Plus I don't even think the sex would be good. Been far less than impressed so far. To add to it he can't even get pity sex because I promised myself that since I hadn't respected my promise of my first boy being the love of my life well, second was to be. That didn't work out well either, the second was a one night stand...third, haha should have been the second but complicated story but anyways he was just a friend with benefits. That I am surprisingly still friends with. Finally 4th was a wanna be one night/friend with benefits who ended up being a bad boyfriend(Lionel). Who I gotta say was back for half a sec but that's another story.

So now since 5 fingers close a hand and I'm anything but promiscuous; well I decided no.5 would be special and nothing rush. He's out of luck. But I'll tell him soon that I can't picture him as more than a friend. He'll take it badly like almost any other guy and I'll move on. Just too bad. LOL, next post gives more of an explanation as to why I'm sure there's no hope.