75% Bitch, 100% Single

Ouf, it's done...And I feel HORRIBLE!!! 75% bitch, could have been more but I was as nice as can be about it. What I think it made it worst; he never saw it coming. Me neither really, I was in the car on my way home and it stroked me I should do it, and fast. Like taking out a band aid. Only it's like taking it off and realizing the wound is looking kind of ugly underneath...

That was hard...nothing worse than dumping a sweet guy. Maybe he's right, he's getting punished for being a nice guy. I could have told him: "Yes, now go on and be a man!" But I didn't...couldn't be so cruel. I do like Kevin and I'm a little hurt too but he's not the guy for me. He'll end up with a bitch like my sister who will most likely boss him around. But it's all good, I think it's his destiny and he'll probably even be happy.

I had taken a book at the library that I had to bring back because it was BAD!!! "How To Dump A Guy, The Coward's Manual". Well, I am not really a coward and I thought they'd have more interesting excuses but no! I'd used them all at least once which made me realize, I had done a fair share of dumping in my life. Every way possible, from not answering phone calls to a cruel: "I don't love you and don't ever see myself loving you," to a more sweet: "I'm not ready for a relationship" etc.

It had been a while and I have to agree with Kevin, it's not like things were going badly. But we're just not compatible. I told him it wasn't right for me to want to change who he is and it didn't make sense for him to be ready to. He was not so much the clingy type but he did say he was hurt and that he was blindsided by all of it. I started thinking that I liked him and didn't want to hurt him, but liking someone isn't enough. I have to be swooped off my feet not gently lifted.

I mean, he's a great guy, actually not bad looking and all. But not my type and I don't want to force it anymore. I told him, I'd rather tell him now than later but the bad part is how he said he was thinking about where it'd be going soon...Arrrgghh, I'm a mean bitch. But like a friend said, a real bitch would've stringed him along...

So alright, I just did what I had to do and if that makes me a bitch I'll wear the badge and be proud. That's gotta be the first time I'm apologizing for being a bitch. And being a bitch would've been me posting the entire conversation here. I couldn't tell him it was partly because he was bad in bed?! If we're ever friends, I'm making it a mission to tell him. :)

Anyways, here I am, proudly wearing my new label...75% Bitch, 100% Single...

Oh, I forgot the update on Robby, well, he found me on facebook (my friend did help out the process by adding him first). But he sent me a message saying he enjoyed our talk and was wondering if I'd be interested to come to another of those get together and I of course said yes.

He left me his no. which will apparently be working this week and I gave him mine. No update so far, I'm just waiting. Wanted to send him a message to ask something though, is his name Robby (for Robert) or Hank because his name on facebook is Hank R. with his last name that I won't disclose of course. ;) Haha, although even the first name isn't the real one. Anyways, he was introduced to me as Robert.

I reserved at the library, the "He's Not That Into You" book. Here's an excerpt, thanks to my friend...Him not calling may be a case of that or he's waiting for his phone. I'll keep you posted.