Learning The Art Of Memory Repression...

Haha, I'm going to insult all the lesbians in 5-4-3-2-1...but that's how I feel after a night with Kevin...yucky. Actually worst than I thought it would be. I should have read my blog before going to his place (oh no, sorry, his parent's place, again). Horrible and I mean horrible!!! And you know what? I'm sure lesbians are much better lovers than that. That was more like a reference to how I didn't feel like I was sleeping with a man...I honestly have A LOT more fun with my vibrator.

What went wrong...oh gee...when a man(boy) can't even get the dog to obey him, you get an idea how bad it gets. And if I think about it, it's worst...28, still at his parents with no real intention of moving out it seems, no job...ouf...anyhow, lets just skip to what exactly happened; and after tonight, I'm not mentioning it again, I'm officially repressing the memory.

So Kevin was trying to be more assertive after asking me what I didn't like about him and well me spilling out the beans being as nice as possible. I limited it to not being assertive, the dressing style and not being even a lil' arrogant. All of this insinuating : BE A MAN!!! So he tried...oh man...you know when someone wants your approval so badly??? And what he doesn't like about me? I can be very intimidating and he only told me that after I said there was no way he couldn't find one bad thing about me.

For a boy (I'm officially giving up on man in his case) to admit to be intimidated by a woman is one thing (and not a good one). But to admit to it? Oh gee..that's a new low in my book. Anyways, let me just get to what exactly happen so I can start repressing. The sooner, the better.

So Kevin invited me to his parents second place that's about 1h30 drive. Bored out of my mind but in no mood to drive so much I said I'd think about it. Later on in the day that was kinda great, I'd find another job, got my bagels (lol); well I said yes. I got there and it starts already with the dog that won't shut up and that he has no authority on even after over 7 years. To top it off, this was a dog that was abused for years, usually they are intimidated quickly by humans but not by him. :S

Anyhow, he did his best, tour of the house, sitting, talking, we skipped the movie, then a little make out session...and now instead of heading to the bedroom, he tries a bubble bath(?!) ok, I'll give points for being romantic but...what???! Anyhow we finally make it to the bedroom and he can't even put a rubber on...wow!

Now, I have nothing against the same position...But that wasn't even the problem. The foreplay wasn't the problem either, it's everything else. I like to tease to create build up, I like some surprise and when it's fun and interesting. Basically, I like to tease and be teased, make the pleasure last etc.

I believe he is concentrated on results...And he can't take directions either...at least not subtle ones like moving his hands or keeping them aside so he just lets me do whatever it is I am doing. Or to understand that whatever he is doing is not working at all...No fun whatsoever, very mechanical I'd say, maybe that's what I didn't like? And it took him forever to come, not even sure he did, I just had the feeling it was lasting an eternity and I had to get out of there; fast!

My first thought when I saw how bad he was, was : "I understand why all his exes cheated on him." Ouch, mean but so true. At 28, you still haven't figured out how to make love properly? My one night stand was more enjoyable than this and I didn't like that experience, it was horrible and not like me!

Will I be the one to tell him how bad he sucked at pleasuring me in bed (and probably any woman for that matter)? Probably...I know I can't let that go. But I don't wanna have to get to show him. Eewww...no. Not again. I gave already. Plus I'm still wondering what the hell was I thinking?

I gotta take care of this mess and soon...