Interesting Potential for Love...

I can't wait to move. Hank is HORRIBLE! I'm being passive/aggressive by not cleaning but damn, he's going overboard! Wow, calling me a rubbish gay man, saying I should turn lesbian as no man would ever want me...wow, anyways. He disgusts me.

Being single is one thing (loving it). Being celibate another (though time ahead). :S Hank tried about twice two weeks ago to get into my pants. Actually 3 times, one of them I intentionally got his motor revving as personal vengeance.

I did not meet Julio he cancelled again and that was it for him! I met Carl a while back. Had our second date today and oh my! Okcupid made up for the fact I met only one person from their site so far was an horny idiot. Sue me! Lol, funny because the horny idiot sent me a few message last night telling me he thought things went well and I should've let him know if I wanted to call it quits. I gave him a chance to make amends, he miserably failed but helped me learn a lesson which I'll get back to very soon...

Last date with Lloyd was a TOTAL disaster! Lol, told me the best voice of music industry of all times is Chris Brown and best singers of all times Pitbull and Akon! Then he says he had to educate me music wise! Yikes, NEXT!!! Did I mention he asked we go chill at my place???! Didn't pay for my drink, didn't even hold the bartender! Grrr!!!

Quite the opposite, Carl is the perfect gentleman. Two dates, took me to exquisite restaurants, got the bill...adorable man! Yes, man! I'm not used to be treated like a queen, it's "different" but I'm getting used to it.

I realized, thanks to HI (Horny Idiot), I am guilt driven! Scary! My exes, who I was convinced went the extra distance for me as I run away from anything meaningful, are just crafty manipulators. It was actually more of "you won't even give me a chance because of what's happen in your past" and it made me feel guilty. Then he acts as if he's doing all the effort to get you. I just clicked they didn't do crap other than manipulate me. My emotional intelligence jumped one huge step up! :D

Carl, when he found out about how I run just said he hoped I would give him his chance and I should give it a try to see how things go as we never know what's in someone's mind. The guy is great, I say! ;)

The date was magical. It was Mother's Day but lol, with my hellish schedule it's hard to see one another. Night starts off with the hostess telling me I'm very beautiful! From out of nowhere! Lol, she said I was a natural beauty and she just felt compelled to tell me. Carl said she beat him to it. Lol, I even got a flower from the waitress although I was not a mommy. Said she beat him to that too! Lol ;)

The guy is sooo intelligent and educated, crazy. Shows chivalry is anything but dead and I must say I feel lucky to have met him. He's very charming, there is a little something about him, I find he's sexy in his own way although he seems bothered by being overweight. He ended the night with a kiss on the mouth. I hate the awkward moment when I'm never sure what the guy will do. Lol

I wasn't expecting the kiss but was hoping for it. It was great. I especially liked how he held me to kiss me and when he let go said: "we'll see each other again". Nothing sexier than a confident guy. I replied playfully: "Yes? You think so?" with a laugh. I'm trying not to get carried away. Wish I could fast forward to our next date. ;)

Though Times

Well, it's better at work but personal life is HARD!!! I have to be honest and say I'm in need of TLC, actually more than that.

The more I have to deal with Hank, the more I can't wait for it all to be over. It was probably about time but as he disgusts me, no way I would even turn to him even for a hug. I'm not really complaining, well not much! Being single is one thing, celibate another! Lol

I did not meet Julio yet, cancelled again. Clock is ticking for him. Lloyd, meh! Asked today if i was free this weekend to go out. Told him Sunday would work. He's bugged me a little from the start...never hear from here and he pops out of the blue to ask me out. Oh well...

My personal favorite is Carl, MUCH more interesting than all the others. By far! Will continue another time.

Back on Therapy

Wow, so much I'm still learning about myself! I turned 30 on March 14th, yeah!!! Single again since early December!!! Yeah, greatest thing to happen to me in ages.

Unfortunately the relationship with Hank lasted 2 1/2 years too long and moving in together was a poor idea! I'll spare details, wouldn't know where to start.

In a nutshell, selfish boy, girl in love, doesn't listen to her friend of just reason equals recipe for bad relationship and 3 wasted years. I say wasted but I still have no regrets.

I have learned more about me. Although there is a lot I already knew, I thought I had changed. I still can't quite end a relationship.

I tried a billion times with Hank but would always go back. And when he tried, I asked he give the relationship another go as I had done so many times before. A few weeks later, I was giving up and admitting he was right. My pride had gotten in the way that last time.

Back on dating sites. Met a few assholes and question marks! Lol, set to meet Julio tomorrow...might click, he's adorable but that may just be the problem...another Kevin? Hope not!

Not even going to bother getting a different name for Stephen as he will probably not be mentioned again. I'm not really superficial and he was kinda looking cute in his own way. I loved his sexy English accent and how he kept saying "madam".

Kinda cute. Tina thought he was SUPER ugly. Long story short, went for coffee, kinda hit it off but not only did you not invite but then you're hoping to get in my pants??? PASS!

Plus his teeth were a huge turnoff. Sure I'll cough up to a very heated conversation by SMS and by phone, probably because I try to please too much and when pressured sometimes I cave in a bit but damn, come on, I'm more than a piece of meat so NEXT!!

For a moment there, because I was convinced the sex would be good and my agreement to be friends with benefits with Hank is pretty much done (he disgusts me), I considered but no, I'll wait for a committed relationship or if it happens it happens but won't go looking for it or waste time with someone who primarily wants to get some.

Not interested in speaking of the others for now. I have a new job. Been a year at Customer Loyalty & Retention for a big telecom company. Made almost 50K last year. Hank could barely bank 30K and still no credit so that explains a bit.

I gained MAD weight! Which brings back what I was saying about not changing much. I do things that I know may be a dealbreaker in hopes my partner will break up with me. :S

Did the same with Lionel. :( So back on working on myself. :)