Round and Round We Go

I stopped writing for a while. My relationship with Malik went down the drain shortly after my last post. I tried once again to salvage something that was meant to die. 

So on I go back to a new ferry ride round and  round we go. I start working on my self-esteem, think I'm good, get into a relationship and "poof", magically at some point, I let a boundary be ignored and there it starts. Seems I am more compassionate to others than myself. 

That is actually true...I don't hold others to the same standards I do for myself...probably because they are impossible to meet or if I can't do it myself how can I ask that of someone else?

So much to say, there will be multiple posts including, yet another, failed relationships. I think that one takes the cake at how I royally mistreated myself and ended up to the lowest I have ever been. I guess I'm stuck in a rut.  That one weakness that I've known for a while came back to bite me in the ass...nothing new. 

So far since the year started I've been on a trip, dated one guy, been on sick leave, saw a psychologist and am still seeing a counsellor. It has been a roller coaster and the ride wasn't always fun. I want to keep my posts short so I will have to go into details on the next post.---will be soon, promise