Stressed Out

My 29th birthday ended about 1 hour ago and I'm SUPER stressed out. Why? Well, I lost my job about 2 weeks ago, which is kinda good since that place was killing me softly. I thought it was killing my relationship with Hank as well but as time goes by, I've wondering if he's just not ready at all...I sometimes believe he's just not a good boyfriend.

If I take tonight, for example, now I'll start with what is most likely his point of view. He was SUPER tired, got maybe 2 hours of sleep only, felt awful for not having anything planned for my birthday and no gift... But he was acting up sooo much. Right when we're about to get to bed, I become EXTREMELY stressed out. I have to return some calls for jobs tomorrow, and I don't know...

I am feeling fat and ugly, sure since I'm not working in HELL(the company I worked for had a 4 letter name so it pretty much the same) anymore it's a little better but I still don't feel 100% confident about starting over in this condition. But I only got 1 month severance pay and about 2 weeks vacation to top that off. Hank does not do well with money and I'm getting worried. All at once.

He is not able to help because he wants to sleep, that's it!!! I get a hug after begging but I need more than that. I need more physical contact, not just words... I had to leave the room because I was crying. He didn't know what to do (mostly because he wanted to sleep and I was stressing him out, apparently). So there it is, I gotta go into blog therapy since my boyfriend is either unable or unwilling to help.

No sure which it is... I've been in need of therapy for a while. This is only the first of a series of post more than likely.